To collect this information, since I was unable to conduct face to face interviews, I created a list of ten questions and through usage of email, attempted to solicit my peers to answer me. The questions are listed below and were accompanied with the following message:
I'm doing a HW assignment for school where we have to interview people (kind of like when I interviewed some of you about birth) for Sociology. Our new unit is Care of the Dead and I've written up ten questions. You don't have to answer every question (some may be personal, it's fine) but as much as you would be willing to give me would really help! If you're skipping a questions, just say if it's because you don't feel comfortable answering or you don't know the answer.
1 1) Describe briefly what you consider normal procedures for dealing with a someone who has died. Should be people buried or cremated? Why? Is it necessary to have a religious institution play a part in the care of the deceased?
2. 2) Imagine that you are in charge of the care of someone you are close to after they have passed away. No imagine you’ve been placed in charge of the care of a complete stranger, someone who’s background you know nothing about. How do you treat them similarly or differently? What’s necessary (to you) to ensure that they are ‘put to rest’ properly and what’s something additional you would personally add to this process?
3 3) Would you be willing to risk your life for the chance to bury the body of a loved one? Why or why not?
4) How would this change if you were in a situation where you were either being attacked or fleeing somewhere (think of something along the lines of fleeing Nazi Germany or Eastern Europe while the Red Army made their deportation sweeps)? Why does this change your belief or, if it would make no difference, why doesn’t it?
5. 5) Building off question three, what if the deceased had been wronged by another person (either murdered or killed for a crime they didn’t commit)? Why or why not does your decision change?
6. 6) Give your immediate reactions to as many, at least two, international or historic customs revolving the care of the dead.
i. The ancient Egyptians buried their pharaohs in tombs with their belongings surrounding them, in belief that they would be needed for the afterlife.
ii. Ancient Greeks buried their dead with a coin over each eye to pay for the believed ferry ride to Hades, the destination of all the deceased. Without a proper burial, one couldn’t enter the gates of Hades.
iii. Some African tribes believe(d) that the deceased's soul would escape through their mouth after death and so, the mouth is somehow covered to prevent evil spirits from stealing it.
iv. On an island in Indonesia, newborns who die are buried in the trunks of giant trees with the belief it would allow the child's soul to rise to heaven.
7. 7)Would you be willing to write a Will when you get older? What would your main concern of writing it be? (ie, would you focus on divvying up your things or focus more on who would take care of your children if you had any?)
8)Do people who commit suicide deserve anything else than those who didn’t? Why?
9. 9)What were you raised to think about for care of the dead? If it’s different from what you currently think, what changed that?
1. 10) Should museums be allowed to keep old skeletons on display? Why or why not? Now imagine it’s a relative or friend you hold dear – still think the same thing?
In the end, I was able to get four responses back, mostly from female friends. For the say of remaining anonymous, they will be;
· Empire
· Padawan
· Sverige
· Tootheache
The interviewees all had a general consensus that a religious institution was not required to play a part in the care for the deceased, however, it’s something to be noted that this was not always the case. In these modern times, there has been a growth in questioning of faiths that could perhaps be the reason for this or just be a mere coincidence. Sverige made a point of saying that, “I think for a lot of people the religious aspect helps bring closure but isn't necessary any more.” Additionally, cremation was an option that was at the least acceptable or believed in and seen as more practical by some. Sverige commented that it was, “…practical and allows the body to be more creatively given release - by releasing the ashes over the ocean, or off a mountain for instance.” Toothache agrees, “A traditional burial is by far more expensive, because for the tombstone you must pay rent each month to keep it in good condition. Rather than with cremation, its only one payment only.” Empire noted the significance that whatever ones personal beliefs were, the requests of the deceased should be honored regardless.
While reviewing the answers I received, I found that for question two, I most agreed with the answer that Padawan gave, “I would personally add a prayer of my own creation before I leave the body of the deceased. My family or loved one would be cared for as they wished to be handled. As for a stranger, if there was no way of identifying preference or religion if any, I would have the deceased buried as that is the most accepted and common dispatch of a body.” To add my own two cents in, as Padawan says they would give a personal prayer, I would give my own good words regardless of who it was and offer of a sprinkling of tobacco, as per my own customs. Something I would interesting in this was that when I was writing this particular question, I put the words put to rest in quotation marks knowing that people had their own opinions of what happens to a person after death (if anything at all) and out of respect for those different opinions and beliefs. I didn’t expect it to receive any comments past perhaps the mention on if someone referred to the people in question as getting buried or cremated. Neither of these were addressed, however, Sverige in turn gave their own definition of what that phrase meant, “For me, "to rest" means fulfilling what the person wants done with their body and making sure that their family and friends can handle their loss in a appropriate way.” Again, I find myself in agreement though when I usually hear the phrase, it’s within the context of someone who died a violent or wrongful death who was finally being “put to rest” by the killer or crime getting solved/punished.
Other things worth noting were that the majority of friends that answered me back would not be willing to risk their lives for the body of a loved one for reasons being either that the person was either dead and thus, there was nothing left to take or save, or the belief that “…the spirit is the person and the body is an empty shell that is not the identity.” (Padawan.) One person would be willing to risk their life due to an obligation and this answer didn’t change even under the context of being amidst running away. In closing, ¾ of my participants were female. I’m curious to see how much the tone and basic idealogy changes between the genders, if at all.
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